My name is Riley*. Life growing up was difficult. My mum walked out on me when I was just six weeks old. She left behind my dad, my sister and me. Home life was strained – my dad was an alcoholic and my sister would be out more than she was at home. As I hit my teens my relationship with them had spiralled and I felt alone, unloved and unwanted. I grew to dislike school as other children would say mean things to me. I was unhappy in every aspect of life. I remember being so sad that all I could do to feel something else was to pull my hair out.

As I hit my older teens I reconnected with my mother. This became a rollercoaster for my mental health. She shared that after leaving me she went on to have six other children which were all now in foster care. I was excited at the opportunity to build a new loving and happy family full of brothers and sisters and to finally have a mum.

However, this did not last long. On my first visit to my mum’s house she began to turn to drugs, right in front of me. Contact with all new my siblings was either toxic, nasty or unwanted and that idea of a happy family faded fast.

I made the upsetting decision to cut contact with my mum after realising her life was not in a good place and this would not be healthy for me. With my life upside down and not feeling wanted by my family, I was alone and facing homelessness. This is when I found my local EveryYouth charity, Llamau. I was offered a space in a 24-hour supported accommodation project with my own flat. My mental health was low and I fell into a vicious cycle of negative thinking around my worth, confidence and self-belief.

But staff at Llamau helped me settle and make friends. I learned how to keep a clean flat, wash my clothes, look after myself and build healthy relationships. I was referred into Llamau’s counselling service where, thanks to EveryYouth Healthy, I had the opportunity to explore my experiences, discuss healthy versus toxic relationships and develop my self-care and confidence.

I was allowed to be me without judgment . The space gave me a chance to verbalise my thoughts, organise them and take control of my life choices. We developed a sleep diary helping me to create a positive sleep routine. We worked on my achievements through the day no matter how small. For example, some days I just wanted to lie in bed and not face the world but instead I pushed myself to get up showered and dressed even if it was to stay at home. As my journey moved forward so did I, each goal grew until I was confident enough to own the positive changes I was creating in my life.

I feel that life has started to come together. I am now in my own accommodation and becoming responsible with money and paying bills. I have started a new healthy relationship which is going well and I am applying for jobs. I use time each day to reflect on what has gone well and to plan ahead for any small positive changes I can make to help myself.

My advice to someone in a similar situation would be to trust in the support offered, to open up and not keep everything bottled up. It’s not about being a burden on people but allowing yourself to be worthy of having help.

*Riley’s name has been changed 

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