After experiencing a difficult childhood and becoming homeless while completing her A Levels, Rayna found support through EveryYouth’s Delivery Partner, Roundabout. Today, she reflects on her journey:
I’m Rayna* and I am 19 years old. Growing up, I often felt alienated from my family. I was never really included or considered in the things my mum and sisters would do together, and it was very lonely.
I didn’t feel like I had anyone to talk to, whether it was about my stresses and worries or even basic things like silly gossip. I was made to feel self-conscious about my appearance, the way I spoke, my mannerisms and my intelligence. I never seemed to effortlessly gain the approval and genuine love my sisters go and I eventually stopped trying.
I also witnessed severe domestic violence between my mum and dad. I tried to intervene many times, and those experiences have influenced how I view relationships to this day.
When I first came to Roundabout, I didn’t know what to expect. Initially, I was put into a few different hostels. The constant moving, carrying all my belongings on my back, knowing I’ll have to move again soon had a huge impact on my mental health. With my A-levels happening at the time as well, it all felt way too overwhelming.
That is when I confided what I was feeling to my key worker. Shortly after, she broke the relieving news that I would be moving to my own one-bedroom flat within the week. I was ecstatic!
Once I was settled into my new place, detailed plans were created to gradually help me get to a stage where I know each aspect of my life was stable, from physical and mental health to my finances. None of these plans would have come to fruition without the support from Roundabout.
During my time at Roundabout, I have tried so many new things and been offered multiple opportunities that I wouldn’t have gotten, had I stayed living with my mum.
One of those opportunities was finding employment through EveryYouth’s Project Flourish programme, delivered in collaboration with Hays. I am now employed and learning to manage my money. I’ve had financial support from the Super Boost to help pay for my accommodation, clothing for my interview, travel passes to get to and from work and food vouchers. I’ve also tried therapy, new hobbies, and I have volunteered with Roundabout’s Peer Educators.
The most impactful thing to me is my shift in perspective. Meeting people who have experienced similar hardships to me, and being around people who help those experiencing hardships, has broadened the way I think.
Hearing how others deal with their problems has helped me deal with mine, and the feeling of loneliness, although still there, has become a lot smaller and manageable.
I am currently in a very weird stage of my life. I feel sad and nervous about the inevitable change that is to come once university begins, but I consider it a good thing that I have build a life and experienced a time that makes me content enough to miss it. I will be going to study Psychology at university, with the goal of eventually becoming a clinical psychologist.
If I could give advice to someone in the same situation, I would say: always speak to someone about how you are feeling. As humans are naturally egocentric, it can be easy to feel like you are the only person in the world who will even somewhat understand how you feel, and that is simply not true.
I would also definitely recommend journalling. This organises your thoughts in a way that only has to make sense to you. I revisit past entries and see what reoccurring thoughts I had and what may be the root of them, and I can see how much I’ve grown.
Everything is temporary. If you’re focused on the bad things in your life, the bad things will be the only thing you see. You could not be completely sad for the rest of your life even if you wanted to be. It is good to have optimism, even if that is the only thing you have.
Find out how you can help more young people like Rayna access the support they need.
*Name has been changed to protect the young person’s privacy.
